Dear Past Me,

I never liked you.
All of the things you created,
All of the decisions you made,
All of the moments you experienced,
I still question to this day.
I wish I could wipe you out of my mind
Forget that you ever existed.
You are my misery,
my regret,
my embarrassment,
my heavy burden that I’ve been carrying up
until this summer.
You took me to a place so dark
that no candles were ever lit for over 100 years
before I found a way to escape.
I could write a tell-all book about the mess you are,
but let me cut to the chase-
You manipulated me.
You scolded me.
You nearly destroyed me.
I hate you,
but, at the time,
I care about you.
I feel… sorry for you.
I do think of you sometimes.
Wondering if you’re okay
if you’re alone with no one to talk to
if you’re crying and making sure no one is watching
Part of me only wants to hate you
based on all the things you put me through,
but you’re hurting too.
And part of me… still cares about you.
Let’s be honest,
we’re holding each other back.
Okay, you may not admit it,
but I can.
I’m not afraid to speak openly about my flaws
Comparing to you- you blame your flaws on me
and convincing me that its the truth.
Past me,
if you’re really reading this right now,
please know…
that I still care about you,
but that doesn’t mean I’m sticking around
and go through the same things with you-
manipulating me, embarrassing me, hurting me-
all over again.
As we part ways,
I expect to see each other
less and less.
But keep in mind: Stay Strong
As cheesy as it sounds but, please
don’t hurt yourself or take the blame on other people
like you did to me.
So farewell and be strong.

Original post can be found here.